Connected or not?

I finally manage to return to the blog after a long span. Some can't write because they feel they have a block :-D, and some, like me, can't write because they have so much that they can write about. I'll probably have my ears pulled, by someone, for the previous statement. LOL. But, believe me, I have a long list saved in my cell phone which is about thoughts I can blog about. Lets leave that and quickly jump to the topic of the day. From past two days I have been trying to figure out what are the things to which I am connected or attached. Forget about the things, who are the people that I am attached to? There are few beautiful souls whom I love, a lot. But when I go deep into my thoughts, I find I can go on with my life even if they choose not to stay. Don't get me wrong. All I mean is, I don't feel connected to anyone of them eternally. I end up seeing myself very detached. Does that mean my love for my friends, family and other people whom I love, is not real? I don't feel it that way, but most of the times I let people connect with me rather than me connecting with them. For instance, during my school time, I had a new friend for every class and I can name them too. But testing my memory is not the game I am playing today. What I am trying to trace here is the reason behind my having variety of friends. Many things come to my mind but the most feasible reason I have is that I never got possessive about people whom I took as my friends. I admit I have been at fault in one of my friendships, but when you have two choose between two people, one is definitely going to be hurt. Apologies for that. Getting back on track, I never really felt like fighting when friends chose to move out of the friendship. I never felt I had a right to change anyone's mind or even influence it with my own thoughts. To mention again, I never felt connected at the end. Fast forward a bit and come to this present time. I have this vision, again and again, that I live my life quite unconnected. I don't have any right to suggest or decide what others do with their lives. I let them live they want to live. Yet there is something that I feel connected to. The Nature. I enjoy my affair with the air, that plays with my hair, whispers in my ears, kisses my face, touches my hands, embraces me... I had my own vision of  God one night, the most serene dream I have ever had. He is the only one I feel connected to... All that said, I don't feel that I don't know how to love and spread happiness. That's something, I am sure, I have learned. Spreading smiles is all that counts. When you are close to the one above, you are close to everyone here below :-)

What is it that you feel connected to?

A thought.

Eat your ego, or ego will eat you - Arpna Singh

Seemingly lone but living a life of its own :)

       



I roam around, most of the time, alone not because I can't find a company for myself but because I love spending time with myself. Anyone who sees me might get a feeling that I am a lonely soul, but actually I am living a life of my own just like the tree in the picture.

I idea of this blog took form when I was looking at the vast expanse of green fields behind the college building. I saw a tree in the middle of the expanse, standing there alone. I did take a picture of it, but I lost it somehow, giving me another reason to curse technology. So I managed to get another picture to help my readers's imagination.

When I looked at the tree I thought to myself about the importance of having a company. In no time my thoughts shifted to the topic of type of company we seek. I mean being a human, do I always find myself among people? No, because many a times I feel happy spending time with the elements of the nature; getting drenched in the rain, enjoying the sunshine, gazing at the silver lining of the clouds, feeling the wind on my face, watching the eagles fly, listening to the parrots and so on. In case of the tree, the one in the picture and the one that I saw, there were no other trees around it but the tree definately has the company of the nature, of the birds, of the insects. So even if the tree seems to be alone, it is not alone. It is different than the others and has its own way to look at the things and to face the challenges. It lives a life of its own.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wondering... and going Haa Haa Haa :D

I have spent almost eight years till now, dreaming of being a pilot. But why, WHY did I ever think of being a pilot??? Here is one of the most silly answer you can ever get for that question. I was on the terrace when I saw a plane, and I remembered that every person that I was close to went out of the country, to live in UK, USA, Canada or Australia. I was hurt and I decided to be a pilot, so that I can fly to the places where my dear ones lived and meet them :-D All these years I have been very serious about it, but at this moment all I am doing is laughing at it. Its not that I don't want to be one now, but its like, even if I don't be one, it will not make much difference to me and my life. I can recall the time when I wanted to be a 'Basket Ball player', and when I wanted to be a 'Veterinary Doctor'. Both the times I was quite serious but still I did not end up being any of the two and I am not regretting at all. There were even more things I thought of, like being a car racer :-D but I am not even that.

I know achieving your dream is a big thing, but what if you don't feel like pursuing it any further, as in my case. I must admit that I am quite weary of my two day search for a graduate college due which I am writing this whole crap. There are so many courses to choose from and I don't have any idea about what should I choose. I entered engineering without having any idea about it and now I am thinking of studying further :-o I have, probably, gone nuts. I kept telling my mom throughout the day that I don't want to study further. But if I don't study then what will I do? Job in an MNC? Hang me before someone puts me into one.

I wonder where will I end up after the completion of my present degree... I need to stop thinking about it and take care of my present.

VOW

Off late I have been quite active on my Facebook account and now I feel I cannot keep away from it. It is bothering me to some extent because I wish to practice the strategy, the vow of silence, of Buddhist monks of increasing your will power by keeping your mouth shut and speaking, to the point. I might not talk much at home or college , but on Facebook, it now feels that I can't keep my mouth shut. My status updates might act like an open window for anyone who reads it to sneak-peek into my life. So, from now on I will refrain from using Facebook as much as possible and try to blog as much as possible. :-)

I vow, not to update my status for the remaining days of the month or even more than that.
I make a vow of silence.

posted from Bloggeroid

No One Is Spared-part 2

The little gold fish in the picture has something missing. Can you tell what it is?

The windows, to the outer world, called eyes are missing. This fish lives in my neighbor's aquarium along with many others. It is always found in the front right corner of the tank and has something special about it. Whenever the neighbours put the feed in the tank the gold fish is the first one to know about it, and, thus it is the first one to eat the food. The ones with the eyes follow her path. :-)

The fish, like the bird, can do what it is meant to do, i.e swim. What else is she required to do? :-)

posted from Bloggeroid

Automatic Mode

I am quite weary of this studying thing, after devoting to it two days and two nights because I will be taking six exams in the coming three days :-D I think I have studied enough to pass all with good score. Studying has brought me back on ground, and, now, I feel its time I take off, to fly again in the sky of my thoughts :-D

Have a Break, have a Blogroid.LOL. God bless the one who made this application because I don't have to get down to my laptop to make new blog entries. No 'starting of windows', no wait for the site to open, no login process, no clicking on 'new post' button and so on. I know I am lazy. So I love this app, where I just need to click the icon on my phone and start typing.Thats it! :-D

Lets me get down to the real thing now. Last night, by mistake (due to good senstivity of my Xperia phone :D ), I clicked the 'youtube' bookmark and ended up watching a video of an eight year old boy singing, 'Hey Soul Sister', in a ukulele festival. In no time the song became one of my favorites and I downloaded it.

The way I came across the song , made me ruminate. Almost all the songs that I love to listen to, including my favorites, happen to hit me when I was not even looking for them. I seldom get down to the internet in search of a song that would please me. Most of the time, I let them come to me when I am in a store,doing window shopping, or when I pass by the television set ,or when my friend asks me to listen to a song, or just by mistake :-D Same is the case with the books I read. The best books that I have read are not the ones that I bought intentionally. They are the ones that a friend gifted to me or the ones that I randomly picked up from the book shelf of the school library.

Going a little deeper into the mist of my thoughts, I find the process is valid for the people in my life too. All the angelic souls that I have in my life, bumped into me when I was lost in my own kingdom. It is like my life decides its course on its own. I have to put no effort in choosing the people whom I will meet, who will stay and who will leave. All I need to do is go with the flow, flow of life, and follow my heart. Everything else is automatic.

I went about doing my job while these 'special souls' drew nearer. I now sense how silently they have made their way to my heart, and make my life glow with the love they send my way. They bestow upon me their blessings and make me feel special. Owing to my nature, I try to give them the same happiness that they bring in my life. Doubling the love and returning the same :-) I make an effort, to let all those who found me, be happy about their discovery. And I feel thats what my life is all about.

I have my dreams but more often its living and doing things for others, that makes me happy. Its making others smile that adds meaning to my own life. :-)

posted from Bloggeroid

Every Vote Counts

Today I exercised my right to vote and casted my vote for the first.Without wasting much time I will try to share an incident that made me ruminate upon the importance of a vote

I woke up from my winter slumber around ten in the morning and went downstairs to begin my day.My dad was sitting on the dinning table and asked me if I would like to go, along with him, to the polling booth.I was excited because it was my first time and agreed, to go, straight away.I just brushed my teeth, wore my sweatshirt and left.We were just hundred meters away from the school,which was the place where voting machines were installed, when I saw the hustle bustle.In school we were taught that exercising your right to vote makes you a responsible citizen and I was happy to see so many responsible people around me :-) The room allotted to us, on the ballot paper, was not much crowded, even though there were long queues in front of other rooms.It took us not more than five minutes to finish up our work and return home.


Me and my dad were about to leave the place when I saw a man on wheelchair with two boys by his side.He lives only two blocks away from our house and has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.I hear from my mother about his frequent visits to the hospital, due to his withering health.The doctors have said that he will see only few more days or may be weeks, if he is that blessed.And when I say blessed,I really mean it because the thread of breath is supplied only by the almighty, and if he cuts it away, no one can ever provide you that thread.This further reminds me of a ghazal, "Jeevan Kya Hai" by Lt.Jagjit Singh ji, which has the line, " aatii saans ko paanaa jaatii saans ko khonaa hai ", in it answering the question in the title. Getting back to the main point, when I saw this man, heading to cast his vote, I couldn't understand why he was there.I was hit by few hackneyed questions. Shouldn't he be sitting at home and spending time with his family? Why is he taking all the pain to get out of the bed and come all the way to cast only 'one single vote'? May be because 'Every Vote Counts' :-) I can sit back at home thinking that my vote will not change the outcome of the elections, but what if everyone thinks like that. In a mosaic every individual chunk has a value and like 'every penny counts', every vote also counts.

posted from Bloggeroid

Do you make a half Roti? :-D

My momy (mom) asked me, how many chapatis or Rotis did I want for dinner? I replied, one and half. So momy made a full and a half roti for me :-D Funny was the moment for me when I saw this in my plate :-)

posted from Bloggeroid

Heavy Heart...

I just finished up reading the all entries of the blog, blog Blah_blah, which had become my inspiration to start blogging.

I used to land up on that blog early morning, when I would have just opened my eyes and I still be in my quilt , or in the late hours of the night, before I closed my small windows to the world outside.In bus, train, auto-rickshaw,on the back seat of the car, on the terrace, in the loo, in the classroom and labs, market, kitchen, at friend's place, in my own room... I had someone with me,the blog, or may be the soul who wrote that.The blog was my companion and I took it wherever I went.I would look for an opportunity to sneak away with my phone and find a place where I could spend time with my new mate.

The blog helped me experience the joy of life in strange ways, making me smile at a moment or, at another, bringing a tear, that silently escaped my soul, from the side of my eye. It made me more loving. But above all it revealed to me that 'woman' is the most admirable and delicate creations of God. The blog stirred an emotion, that did exist before but never came to the forefront, the joy of being a girl or may be woman.There were posts that I did not understand, even if I tried hard to figure out what they meant, but at the same time there were posts that I loved.I even took a snapshot of one post that I fell in love with.The blog redefined 'the joy of sharing'.

But now, when I have reached the 'dead end' sign, I just can't accept the abrupt ending of my relationship with the blog.May be I will start my journey again and reread the blog...

posted from Bloggeroid